-The room outside the first point ended up very tall indeed. I thought about it when i made it, but I couldn't see an easy way to reduce the height, without altering balance some other way. I'm thinking adding cover instead, with pipes or something. I'll keep it in mind.
-The stairway in the same room is bugging me for more than one reason. I guess if I did raise the floor or lowered everything else, I could make it smoother. Or did you want me to remove the stairs entirely?
-Overpowered demomen would be a big problem, and now that you mention it, I kind of see it being a big problem. I'll see what I can do, but I'd love to get more comments about this and hear others' opinions as well.
-I am under no circumstance removing the death pit from second. The low route is inspired by the ledgefights from HL1. I can change them, add stuff, maybe even add railing, but I am never removing the death pit. Without it, the whole map is just another bad attempt at making something identical to a popular map without reproducing it.
This is a map for not too many players. 24 is too many. I'm not sure if it needs to be a competitive map for that reason. What do I need to save the medic?
-The second room feels like a bridge with some stairs in a tiny tall room. This effectively removes the ability to use this route to flank. It's only purpose is a retreate route at that point. This means there is only one way out of the last point. This just isn't a balanced philosophy. But there's no clear cut way to solve this problem.
-If you're so insistent on a death pit: make it so that an air blast from the top cannot knock players to their deaths. This could be done with railings, widening the ledge or both.
-Competitive isn't just about tesm sizes. The class usage is also important. Players want to sticky/rocket/double jump to places. Soldiers must have height, and need things to be within effective horizontal rocket jump distance. Demomen want chokepoints where their stickies are most effective. Scouts want open areas with moderate height variation and lots of props to jump on (think Grannary last). Medics want cover, doors, and no sniping spots. General competitive players also want everything clipped off. I see a lot of this in your map, which is why I mentioned it.